I'm I a bad mother when I don't post on fb?

I've got this friend. Well she is not exactly my friend but used to be married to my husband's cousin. We literally spoke once ,on my wedding. Now we just exchange the comments about how beautiful our children are and how wonderful motherhood is. Unfortunately this fairy tail is only on her side. Is it wrong that she is  kind of annoying me? Everytime I see a photo she posted just want to puke. I know, I sound horrible. All her photos are sweet, showing how fun they have, how they go for walks, and don't let me forget how clever her children are with all those reading achievement (here she posts photos of teacher awards, other awards and whatsnot). Don't get me wrong , I'm not jealous . Most of the mothers do that-"repost the photo if you love your son " and all that crap. 

My children are well behaved when in public, home situation looks the opposite. One sits and farts, the other burbs, whilst sitting on phones, ipads  etc, and digging out the dirt in between their toes. Suddenly the words like"thank you" , "please" are forgotten, instead you hear "you idiot, stupid girl, Jack stop being annoying". I am not saying they don't love each other, they do,very much just this love doesn't always show .

         I don't deny, I don't take my children for longs walks, go to parks and fairs or theme parks. I work part time, two jobs. In the occasional day off I clean. The last thing I want to do after looking after other people is to go for a walk, let Jack get muddy so I have to slave again and clean the floor. The main reason we don't go to theme park so often is transport (we don't drive) and money(always short). How people manage to go to theme parks every week when only one of them works is beyond me! I'm a good mother: we play board games, computer games, read books and cuddle . Go to the garden and play, go for occasional walks. I encourage them to do sports(Jack is a future of English football, unfortunately Natalie sports achievements are far from that, she is just to lazy). The things is I don't broadcast it. Mostly because I think is cheesy and stupid. I don't want to criticize mother s who do that is just my opinion.I don't make photos of kids awards and inform people of recent school report results. I just don't see the point. I love my children, Jack is my baby boy and I have fantastic relationship with Natalie. I just don't milk it, I don't need anyone appreciation of how wonderful mother I am. Just ask my children.

Once someone asked me"Why you never talk about your children"Why should I? When asked about them I'm more then happy to answer but I don't walk around and bore people with my stories. Because they are my stories. Mine and my husband's and my children's. 

Is it wrong that I get annoyed about other mums?Perhaps.At the end they can do whatever they want, shout  about beautiful motherhood, post photos. The truth is ,and we all know that, sometimes our children drive us mad. We want to lock them up or escape. Funny enough no one ever posted this on FB.

My tinnitus started out of nowhere. At first It was ok, just the sound.After a while and reading horrible stories on the internet I've started developing depression and anxiety.The sound was louder and louder. I was searching for cure. Sleepless nights, suicidal thoughts.Listening to "friendly advice" I've stopped cheese, coffee, tea, beer. Was scarred to use the hover.Then I signed up for hypnotherapy, which revealed my hidden secrets, but also relaxed me. Thought me relaxing breathing techniques. I've started yoga and tai chi.Refused to take drugs but went to health shop and was given mixed of vitamin and herbs to calm my nerves and help calm down (cortisol level was very high). The sound started to getting quieter.Everyday hypnotherapy session (find them on Google app and ITunes-I recommend  Glenn Herald).MRA scan shown no abnormalities. I became happier, calmer, was able to play and cuddle

my children again. Went back to my coffee and cheese, have a drink quite often.Recently I've started practising reflexology. The sound is still there, in moments of stress and tiredness It seems to be louder but I ignore it. I don't let it control me again.Maybe one day it will be gone, maybe not. It doesn't own me anymore.